Now, like the title says these are my thoughts while swiping on Bumble. If you don’t like them or don’t agree, you’re entitled to your own opinion as I am mine.
In a world where meeting people the old fashion way, aka out or “organically”, is becoming obsolete online dating is skyrocketing.
According to eharmony, “40% of Americans are using online dating.” So my hopeless romantic self turned my boredom to Bumble. Now location makes a difference in your experience based on the population. Below are my thoughts while swiping:
- You do not look 6″4.
- There are girls in your pics. I am definitely judging you based on how good looking they are compared to you.
- All group pics- ok which one are you?
- We matched! Wait you wrote nothing in your bio essentially affecting my wittiness to grab your attention.
- You talk about your dog in your bio but he’s not in any of your pics. Lack of consistency.
- First pic- cute, yay, finally! Swipes to remaining pics… yeah not for me. First pic was a trap.
- Oh it’s an instant match, and I have to message you. To wait or not to wait? Don’t want to sound too eager.
- Yikes- you peaked in high school.
- Still good looking. I’ll swipe right for nostalgic reasons.
- Your dog is cute so I’ll swipe right.
- Your dog is cute af, but I’m still swiping left.
- So you rave.. I couldn’t tell by your pictures..
- So is the kid yours orrrrr? Please specify. I’m gonna swipe left just in case.
- Wish you would specify: employed and over 6′.
- Mirror pics were so circa 2007 bro.
- I’ve swiped right like once in the past 30 minutes. Why do I even bother with this thing?
- If you add your insta to your bio I will stalk before I swipe right.
- Perfect you put your insta so I can stalk more. Oh it’s private. What was the point of that?
- Okay so basically everyone in Atlanta went to the same three colleges.
- Can we get some diversity? Either you look like you walked out of a J Crew or a South Pole Magazine.
- You swiped right. I swiped right. We matched. I messaged. AND NO RESPONSE?
- If he was taller… but he’s not.
- I’ve seem you fifty times! No bumble get him off my algorythm.
- I want to match with you just so I can comment or question something regarding your bio.
- Why is your girlfriend or ex girlfriend in your picture sucking face?
- Since all of your pictures are group pictures and there’s three reocurring guys…which one are you?
- Damn the friend is hotter.
Have funny dating stories or Bumble experiences? Let me know in the comments below! Interested in my Tinder dating experience with a Murder Stripper?